Eve’s Daughter

So, why did I choose Eve’s Daughter as the name of my blog? If you’ve read the “About” page, you’ll have a pretty good idea and I will endeavour not to repeat myself too much in this post. When I first began writing my “About” page, it was huge and it slowly dawned upon me that there was just too much stuff to put up. So if you think the About page is long now, it’s nothing compared to what it was gonna be! So here’s the story of how Eve’s Daughter came to be…

 I LOVE to write! I mean I love to write in the same way I love to breathe. It is essential to my being, to my sanity. If I don’t write for a couple of days I start going a little “stir crazy”, I get crabby and cranky and just plain unpleasant to be around (just ask my family!) and if I haven’t been able to get any serious time to write (at least half an hour, although my preference would be at least two hours if not four!) for a few days, if anyone gets between me and my writing, well, let’s just say, it ain’t pleasant. Writing, as I have said, is as essential to me as the air I breathe. Writing is what makes me come alive and my word craft is a gift from God. How shall I illustrate this? Well, how about this? I love to sing - I enjoy it, and you can often find me singing throughout the day (mostly making up songs that praise and worship my Father in Heaven) apparently I tend to sing in a minor key (what that actually means I don’t know because I am not a singer or musician in any way, shape or form!) - but singing doesn’t do it for me the way writing does; singing just doesn’t make me come alive and God certainly has not given me any gifts in this area!

Anyway, back to writing. I have loved writing for as long as I can remember, well not that long, actually, the first time I really remember enjoying writing was (I think) in grade 4 in primary school (I’ll have to look through all the stuff I’ve kept and see if I can find that story, there is a slim possibility I might still have it). I was about nine years old. I wrote my first novel in high school, which I lost. It was circulating around the school and to friends and it, well, it got lost. Everyone who read it raved about it (in a good way), although I’d probably die of embarressment if I read it now! I’ve no idea what happened to it. I always kinda hope that one day I’ll come across it in one of my many folders, or mum will be cleaning out something and find it…I live in hope. 

Since then I have completed the first drafts of three novels and have sketched brief ideas for many more, I’ve written heaps of short stories and lots of poems. And all of them are either stored away in my filing cabinet or on my pc. Sadly, I listened to the critics (friends, family etc as well as the inner critic, myself) who all told me I wasn’t good enough, that I couldn’t make a living from writing, stop dreaming and get on with life and if I really must, then keep it as my hobby while I study hard and get a real job! 

I know that I have lacked the “backbone”, the strength of character, the determination, the perserverance to do it anyway. I’ve had people say to me (not that long ago), “well, if you really were serious about this writing thing you would have been published by now, so obviously you’re not going anywhere with this, it’s just a dream you have, so you may as well shelve it and get on with living” (not word for word, but how I remember it) and I thought, ‘yeah, I guess you’re right, I’ll just dabble now and then because I enjoy it…’ But as I have read through a couple of books - ‘The Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron and ‘Captivating’ by Stasi and John Eldredge, I have realised more and more that writing is what makes me come alive, writing has been planted deep within my soul, I am passionate about writing, I love to do it, I can be writing and getting the “head nods” because I’m falling asleep, but I just don’t want to stop because I’m having so much fun, or this is the only chance I’ve had for days!

Not that long ago T and I had a discussion as to why I just go all “martyr” (victim) when things are getting confrontational (which frustrates the heck out of T) obviously it is my safety mechanism and how I respond when things are getting hot under the collar, well, at least when I perceive them as that way. And I have always ‘listened’ to other people and taken on their thoughts and opinions, always kind of thinking that everyone else knew more than I did, so they must be right. Hmmm. Many issues have been raising their ugly heads since I read ‘Captivating’ and began my journey to rediscovering my heart. It is a long slow process, but I am handing them over to God and dealing with them (I hope).

Writing, whether it is a novel, a short story, a poem, my journal or this blog is what truly makes me come alive. I love it. I am passionate about it. I’m reasonably good at it (I hope), but mostly, I just plain love doing it. Loving to write is one of the main reasons I started this blog.

For a while now I’ve wanted to chronicle my life journey and share it with others. Is that a little big headed of me? I mean, I’m not anyone famous, I’m not special, I haven’t done anything spectacular or achieved anything amazing or special and maybe I never will, I haven’t been through a life threatening experience or really done anything all that interesting with my life. And yet, I know I have something I can share from my life, from what I’ve learnt and am learning every day and for a long time now, I have wanted to somehow share my life with others, in what would hopefully be in an uplifting and edifying way. I’ve been wanting to blog for many years now, I even started it once - I’ll have to see if I can still access my first blog and transfer my previous writings across (that’s if they’re any good! I remember them being good, we’ll see if my memory and the reality agree) - and now, finally, I am writing again. I’m blogging my journey and I hope that it will be uplifting and edifying, that it will help, in some small way, anyone who reads its words, my words and ramblings, my stories and descriptions. This blog will also be the place where I put up some of those poems I have written. The short stories too, and maybe, just maybe even my novels! Anyway, we’ll see what happens, how it evolves. Life is a journey, after all.

Originally when the desire to start this blog first presented itself, I wanted to call it “Journey”. I really liked the word ‘journey’ because ‘journey’ describes life. My life is a journey. Heck, for that matter, everyone’s life is a journey. And I thought that “Journey” would be such a great name. But instead of “Journey”,  my blog is “Eve’s Daughter”!! So what the heck happened? 

Okay, so here’s how it goes… When I started reading the book ‘Captivating’ by John & Stasi Eldredge I just knew I had to start a blog and chronicle my journey through this wonderful book. To be honest, I don’t know if anyone will ever read this stuff except for me and Tim, but if other people do read my stuff, it is my prayer, that somehow, in some way (preferably positively) they will be touched, inspired, encouraged, motivated, whatever’ed - and will enjoy reading about the journey I’m on. I can always hope. But as I’ve said earlier, I love to write, so if nobody else ever reads this stuff except for me and thee, I’m quite fine with that, although it would be nice…

Anyway, I decided to pray about this blog and what I should call it. Amazing! Sometimes I actually remember to ask God what he thinks of my idea before I jump in boots and all!! So I said to God, “if I’m gonna do this thing, what should I call it?” The response I got was very definately ‘Eve’s Daughter’ - it wasn’t an audible voice response, I just had a very definite sense, a ‘knowing’. By this time I had read the 2nd chapter of ‘Captivating’ which is called ‘What Eve Alone Can Tell’ and in it Stasi and John write about being a daughter of Eve, and when I asked, the answer I was given was ‘Eve’s Daughter’. I didn’t jump at it. I certainly didn’t like it at the time and I felt a little silly about it, a little odd. But the name just felt right, comfortable, even though it didn’t feel comfortable at all. It was, at first like a new woollen jumper, a bit scratchy and itchy. But after a few washes, is really comfortable and warm. I was embarrassed that I was calling my blog ‘Eve’s Daughter’, and proud; it’s funny, the name kinda makes me stand taller and even feel better about myself. I guess, as always, God knows what he’s doing! Amazing, huh?

Originally when I started this blog I was intending to remain anonymous, which is why you’ll find numerous posts with T, B, K & X when I am referring to my husband and sons. So why did I want to be anonymous? Well, it wasn’t because I’ve got anything to hide, or I’m ashamed of anything I write about - everything I say here in this blog, I say out loud to other people too. My thinking behind remaining anonymous was because I wanted people who knew me to be able to read what I write without thinking about me - basically I didn’t want to get in the way of other people being able to benefit from what I write. Okay, here’s an example:  I am writing about a situation where I am having difficulty relating to someone and as a result issues are coming to the surface and I need to deal with them and so I am chronicling my journey through this. I want the person who I am having difficulty with to be able to read through my thoughts and ramblings and actually benefit from it without knowing it’s me because if they know it’s me, well then that might stop them from benefiting from what I write. Of course they may not benefit anyway, it’s just that I didn’t want to be an obstacle for anyone who reads this stuff. I still don’t want to be an obstacle, but I feel that to remain anonymous is lacking credibility and integrity and it’s as though I am hiding something or ashamed of something… You still won’t find our names written here, but that is more to do with keeping my family “safe” than anything else.

For a long time I have been getting tired of all the books out there about extraordinary people with extraordinary lives. People who have got it together (or at least seem like they have) far more than I have and probably ever will! Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that they are extraordinary, it’s just that sometimes (oftentimes) I feel that I could never be that good, so instead of being inspired I feel worse off than before…  I know ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’, and I feel so good when I say that, I stand taller, I feel like more than a conqueror until I look at all the housework and other stuff that needs to be done! Then I just kinda crumple and stumble through, but then, sometimes I don’t because I remember that I am a child of God and I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

There have been a few times when I’ve just wanted to sit down and write about my life, my ‘ordinary life’ and seeing if anyone was interested in publishing it or reading it! I’m not writing a book about my life, I’m writing a blog instead and sharing excerpts of my life with anyone who is interested, excerpts of my ‘ordinary life’, my journey. So ‘Eve’s Daughter’ is about me, my journey through life - my struggles, my issues, my problems, my victories, my experiences, my learning, my heart, my desires, my walk with God, my family, my adventures, my thoughts, my poetry, my stories, the books I’ve read… but perhaps my ‘ordinary life’ may be helpful to others. I don’t see my life as anything special, or extraordinary, although I would like it to be, and I don’t even know if what I am writing will be of any value to anyone except me, but one thing God has shown me since I began this blog is that no-one has an ‘ordinary life’, everyone’s life is extraordinary, including my own. Eventually I will have another website up - it will be called ‘Tell Me Your Story’ and on it you will find a collection of other people’s stories as ‘everyone has a story to tell’ and although we might be ‘ordinary people’ we have ‘extraordinary lives’.

I am so grateful to John and Stasi Eldredge for listening to God and writing ‘Captivating’ - I needed this book. ‘Captivating’ has stirred my heart, fanned the embers and created a flame once more. And it is the first book on being a Christian woman that has really, truly spoken to me, to my spirit, to my heart. John and Stasi are ordinary people, people like me, who are striving to live extraordinary lives; to follow their hearts and the desires God has placed within them. Their book ‘Captivating’ (for women) and John’s books ‘Wild at Heart’ and ‘The Way of the Wild Heart’ (for men) I believe, are truly inspired by a God who loves us and wants to draw us near. And if you haven’t read them, I recommend that you do.

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