Eve’s Daughter

Okay, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called ‘A Gift From God’ about his provision of a holiday for us. Now we haven’t gone yet, and I was at the point where I just wanted to cancel the whole thing, I didn’t want to go any more, it was all too hard. For the last two days I have been dreading this holiday. Not the holiday itself, but the preperation and the packing. The more I thought about all the things that had to be done so we could go away, (and the list was ENORMOUS) the more I was dreading getting ready - there was so much to do and with T pretty much out of the picture for that sort of stuff (a chronic fatigue syndrome sufferer), it was all my baby to organise and make happen. And me, I’m one of those people who puts off those things that are daunting me, I go all “ostrich” (bury my head in the sand and hope it will fix itself while I’m not looking!) I don’t know why I persist in doing it, it hasn’t worked yet and at 37 I’ve had plenty of experience of it not working - you’d have thought I’d have figured it out by now!

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This is a brief paragraph about the poem “Victorious” first written on June 18th, 2007 - if you want the full story, read The Story Behind The Poem “Victorious”.

More spiritual warfare - I knew I needed to stand firm and fight, but I didn’t, well not at first anyway. I let the attack wash over me and I fell apart. In the midst of the turmoil I saw the words, “Write it down” and I knew that this fight could be won by writing it down. So I did, and ‘Victorious’ was born.

Click on “Victorious” to open the poem in a new window.

The poem is in Adobe Acrobat format. If you can’t open the poem, then you can download a free reader

Recently (in the last few weeks) I went driving down to the shops (something I have to do much more often than I would choose to do) I asked myself, “who am I?” and I answered myself, “I am a child of God!” And it felt sooooo good!!

So I said out loud to myself all the way down to the shops, “I am a child of God!” I told it to myself while I was shopping and I shopped with a smile on my face. Even now, weeks later it still feels just as good and brings a smile to my face, and a few goosebumps too!

I am a child of God! I am a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come!! And I am free!!! I feel it too, somehow lighter, somehow newer, somehow freer. And it’s totally awesome.

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I had read the following from ‘I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just A Little Unwell’ by Leigh Hatcher and went “God, I wish someone would offer us a holiday (big sigh)…”

‘…A handful of very special people walked alongside my family and me every step of the journey. They were there, often with impeccable timing, to give us support, both practical and emotional. They wrote, rang and visited (always checking first if a visit was appropriate). Sometimes they even cooked and gardened for us, helped us out financially, or organised transport for our kids. One dear woman from our church organised for a meal to be dropped around for us every week. Two other families generously offered us the use of holiday apartements, both at the beach. Each offer came at exactly the right time for our family, espepcially our marriage…’ 

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I love chocolate - in capitals, bold and underlined with lots of exclamation marks! And yet, I think I may have had too much chocolate this week. For the first time ever, I think I may have overdosed on chocolate, and that’s saying something! Too much chocolate! Impossible!! Well, so I thought, but…Before I tell you why I think I’ve had too much chocolate, let me tell you about how much chocolate I have managed to consume this week!

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I’m on the computer, desperately trying to type up thoughts on a story idea I’d had inspired by one of last night’s dreams, before I lose the thread and before X wakes up. As always, I only ever have a small window of opportunity. X is meant to sleep for two hours, but as soon as I count on that you can pretty much guarantee that he doesn’t! And then of course, I also use the time X is sleeping to run around the house and do all those jobs that are nigh on impossible to do while he’s awake, which doesn’t leave much time for doing extra things like typing up a story idea.

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We’ve done it! We’ve been talking about it for ages; dreaming about it. But today we made a decision!! We have decided what the next major step is for us, for our family and our walk with God. So it is not just us who decided. As a family we prayed and asked God to say “no” if this is not the direction he wanted us to head in.

Well, God did not say “no”. And so we have set the date. We will travelling around Australia, slowly. We’re not quite sure in which direction we’ll head first - there’s so many ways we could go. So far we are thinking we’ll meander our way slowly up the coast visiting some friends and relatives along the way. We’re in no hurry. We’ve said six months, but it could be more, maybe even a year!

So anyway, we are leaving on Monday 11th Feb, 2008! Whoohoo!!!

There will be more posts on this, but we are setting up our very own travel website so there’ll be more details on there. When I post here it will be more about my personal journey, rather than the family travels.

We now have our travel website up and running - The Great Adventure - and it’s really cool!

The other day I was in the kitchen washing dishes (seems to be a fairly regular occurance - just lately I’ve been feeling like I’m spending the entire day in the kitchen!) when I looked up to see B (my oldest) balanced on a small wooden stool which was balanced on top of the glory box, standing on tip toes, stretching, trying to reach the ceiling to stick up the paper balloon he had made ~ he wanted it to be a helium balloon!

Needless to say, I freaked a little! I was having Looney Tunes visions. You know, when Daffy or Buggs are balancing precariously on top of a multitude of boxes, chairs, ladders, tables, spinning tops all somehow balancing on top of each other and invariably there is an amazing crash with things going everywhere. If it’s Daffy or anyone else it’s a disaster, but if it’s Buggs, well somehow he manages to get out of it.

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As I have said in earlier entries, some of the “so-called” desires of a woman’s heart do not sit well with me and “romance” or the desire “to be fought for” was one that certainly caught in my throat!

I’m not exactly what you’d call interested in “romance” and being “fought for”. It just sounds poxy - like the princess waiting in her tower for her hero because she’s too insipid, too weak, too silly, too helpless to do anything herself! Yuck!! I can’t stand women like that and I don’t want to be a woman like that! I haven’t seen ‘Shrek the Third’ yet, but I have heard about the scene where all the princesses are taken captive and when Fiona says “let’s fight” Cinderella gets her glass slipper and Sleeping Beauty swoons onto the bed, waiting for their heroes to come! Yuck, yuck, yuck and yuck!!!

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The following is taken from my journal, after a particular trying and hurtful conversation with my oldest I wrote down my thoughts, feelings and journey. It is essentially word for word, although I have taken the liberty of editing my words and adding a few more. 

Hmmmm. I don’t know what to write. Right now I’m feeling rather ‘non’, ‘flat’, on the verge of being depressed - the pendulum is swinging, you know the big grandfather clock with it’s big and ponderous pendulum swinging back and forth, tic, toc. Where will it stop? Nobody knows.

Actually, I do.

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